Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Croc O Shit

Gdday Mate.

Hi, what can I do for you?

As its Independence Day, thought I’d ask you a few questions.

How long have you been running?

This Friday is 88 days, so going on 2 years.

88, that could be lucky if you were Chinese. Where was that run?

Blackmore Drive with Ayam Sinking also a virgin. I had just arrived from Boston. I asked Herr Zipp how long the run would be and would I need a water bottle. After the run I decided I needed a bigger water bottle. Herr Zipp just looked at me as if I was an idiot.

That’s nice background music mate.

Yes, my daughter Emma is playing piano.

Does she do requests?

She’s  about to play “Swimming”

Nice.

Actually it sounds more like ‘Sinking’ or perhaps Pam Carter swimming!

How did you get your name?

It was at Lower Pierce and Not Tonight said that my red croc sandals were ugly and I should be called Croc Monsieur, which translates as ‘grilled ham and cheese sandwich.’ Stiff thought that this name wasn’t crude enough for me, pushed me over, took one of my crocs from my foot and threw into the circle, shouting ‘What a Croc of Shit.’ So the name stuck.

Most memorable Run?

It was the return of the Irish run at Chestnut. Myself and 3 or 4 others were completely cut off from the rest of the pack, it was dark and we were hopelessly lost in the jungle. Then we came across a huge tree that blocked our way. ‘oh no, we are all going to die’ panicked someone. It was me actually. Then came a ‘ Don’t panic, I’ll save you.’It was Boo. He led us into water over our head and around the fallen tree. Boo saved our lives but I still suffer from post traumatic stress and have nightmares!

Follow Boo hey! Funny moments?

Anytime Ugly Bum is in the Circle!

Best Run?

That will be this Friday! Seriously, it was 1300 celebration run. The circle check on top of the pipeline befuddled the masses! We couldn’t find the trail and had to go back onto the pipeline.A lot of people who hadn’t turned up for a while were expecting a little walk in the park. 2 ½ hours later there were a lot of people on hand phones asking for help to get home.

Favourite On On?

I like on site so I don’t have to sit on a table of 9 very hungry men who take all the food! If I have to sit on a table, I pick one full of petite Chinese women who don’t eat much, don’t really like the food and are only there because their husbands made them!

What are you up to today?

I’m off to hit Wet and Wild nice and early.

I’m not sure if Sneaky Comer would approve of you giving Wet and Wild a spanking.

Woops, I mean I’m off to Wild Wild Wet water park early this morning with the kids. I might do a recce for a water park theme run, but could have trouble with the flour sticking.

Yeah, 9 rolls of toilet paper could create havoc with the pool filtering system.

Who do you admire on the Hash?

Any 50+ year olds who still get out there and endure the pain.

Wait, I resemble that comment!

I don’t admire 49 year olds though. (bad luck Stash) I also admire who turn up and hardly speak any English but stay anyway.

Are you referring to the Aussies?

Ha ha!

If you weren’t at the Hash, what would you be doing?

I would be in less trouble with my wife!

Then again you could be in even more trouble by spending more time at home.

On the Hash you should …… stay on trail!

What do you enjoy the most about Hashing?

I love looking forward to the run all week. I know what I will be doing at 6pm Friday, it is an immovable  stone in my schedule. Being the ultra athlete that I am, I get edgey if I don’t get my run in. I also enjoy the people that run and of course the MSG in the food!

Do you think Croc O Shit is sexy?

No question about it! Next question please.

Any words of wisdom you would like to leave us with?

Just because Sweet Thighs didn’t sink when she ran across the mud pit, doesn’t mean that you won’t!

And one more, don’t bathe in the Holy Water!

Thanks for that last piece, I will take note.

On that note, thank you Croc O Shit and enjoy Wet and Wild, woops, I mean Wild Wild Wet!

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